This post was written in reflection format, in which my mind just flows, and the result turns to the text. I just feel that I need to do something productive all the time, which is obviously bad, but I can't fight it right now.
My last month was bad. I just can't enjoy my life as I used to during the summer. It feels so strange that I just can't enjoy anything, I feel pleasure from something, but it lasts a few seconds and then joy of the moment just disappears. Since it began, I have had a lot of potential reasons for this state. I was thinking that it was just too cold outside, I need more sport, I need new people, I need fewer fast dopamine sources, I need a goal, I need a work, I need financial independence(I still need think that I need that, but we will talk about that in another post). Yesterday some things became much clearer for me, and now I, probably, found the key reason for this state.
Is the problem in my head?
This whole month or already two, I was thinking that the problem is in my head. As I already said, I had different reasons on my mind, but I had three the most shining ideas, which where the most "real" for me. I was thinking that it was just a cognitive therapy relapse. I still think that it gave additional power to my bad mood. I was trying to resume my therapy, but it didn't help me. Then I decided that it caused by a university, or loneliness during winter holidays(I even wrote a post about that, in which I came to a conclusion that it is true). But my university's semester ended 2 weeks ago, and I understood that loneliness wasn't the reason, it was just feeling that was created by lack of happiness in my life.
And a week ago I started to understand that, probably, the reason is in my body. I started my research and just instantly found the same article I read 3 months ago, when I had my social media relapse. This article was about a Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This disorder typically appears during autumn and lasts to first spring's sunny days. It caused by decreasing sun's power and daylight time what on the one hand increases melatonin, which makes you less energized, and on another hand decreases serotonin, which is responsible for "feeling good", also our body can't produce a vitamin D during this dark winter days at all.
The problem is not in my head
Two days ago my mom forced me to have a blood test. And on the next day I had results, and they are interesting enough to mention them here, I displayed them in a table below.
| Biomarker | My Value | Lab Reference | Optimal Range (for Vitality) | Why it Matters (Explanation by Gemini) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Vitamin D | 25 (5 points lower than minimum) | 30 — 100 ng/mL | 50 – 70 ng/mL | Key for serotonin. Low levels cause the "winter slump" and low mood. |
| Ferritin | 27 (around lower bound) | 15 — 150 ng/mL | 60 – 100 ng/mL | Your "iron battery." Low levels mean less oxygen for your brain and muscles. |
| Vitamin B12 | 271 (around lower bound) | 200 – 900 pg/mL | 500 – 800 pg/mL | Brain fuel. Low levels lead to brain fog, irritability, and slow thinking. |
| Magnesium | 1.0 (Good) | 0.7 – 1.2 mmol/L | 0.9 – 1.2 mmol/L | Anti-stress. Supports sleep and helps your Vitamin D protocol work properly. |
And from the first line we can see that I have big troubles with my vitamin D levels, it is lower than minimum, which explains everything. Vitamin D is a key factor for serotonin production, and when it is so low our brain doesn't allow to waste it even for pleasure. This is the most important thing from the table, that has the biggest impact on the mood, but I also have two other interesting things in my results. My ferritin and B12 levels are both in the lowest levels of reference results. It seems that it is not that bad, but for better understanding we need to know one thing, in medicine it is two concepts, standard range and optimal range. Standard range provides you enough substances to your body for surviving, but if you want to enjoy your life and be productive it is usually not enough, that is why I did a column for optimal range.
That means that it is not in my head, what is awesome, because I was feeling like I can't fight it and just stuck in this mood forever. Also I have noticed that cold showers, which I was taking for 70 days, recently, became very uncomfortable, what seems like an additional evidence that the problem is in my body.
Conclusion
When you find a reason of your problems and feel that you can fix the problem, it is always very inspiring feeling. I would like to change my lifestyle and the way I eat, because I was eating clean, but it was too clean, and every day I was eating the same things just, because it was comfortable and easy. Taking vitamin D seems now like a good idea, 2000 UI or 4000 UI or even more, but only after I will see a professional who knows better than me what to do in situations like mine. Actually, there are a lot of dependencies that is needed to know when you take some extra supplements. For example: if you take vitamin D you should take magnesium to make it work, but if you take magnesium you should take it with B6 for better absorbing, and if you take all that you should take K2 to avoid soft tissue calcification. I hope that I will learn how to deal with these seasonal vitamin D drops and other lifestyle problems in the future (or no).
The main lesson I have learnt from the situations: always be skeptic for my system and the way I live, make reviews and changes, always be in the process of finding problems, because they always exist.
P.S.
I hope that I will have enough motivation to write a second part of the vitamins story after 2 or 3 months.
